House of Hades Fun-Shots 2: Phobia Talk
by Katniss 111
Summary: The House of Hades is going to be a dangerous journey in both sides BUT everything comes with humor too, right? Just some funny one-shots on the people that are in the House of Hades. This fanfiction is about the guys in the Argo 2 who are bored and decide to talk about their weird phobias/fears...


_The sequel to:_

**HOUSE OF HADES FUN-SHOTS 1: LEO SINGS IN THE SHOWER!**

** s/9410053/1/House-of-Hades-Fun-Shots-1-Leo-Sings-i n-the-Shower**

**HOUSE OF HADES FUN-SHOTS #2: PHOBIA TALK**

Piper leaned on Jason's shoulder, she wanted to sleep a bit but she found out that there was no way she could sleep. Some dumb Egyptian wind spirits had sent them off course and now they were now near the Caribbean looking for a place to land and repair the flying ship.

Mosquitoes hummed in an extremely annoying way over their eyes and the heat was enough to make you faint. Everything seemed more itchy and Piper sighed.

Leo hopped down the deck, his hair was stuck in 50 different directions and it stayed like that, as if he had put some hair gel in it. He had sand all over his skin and they all smirked.

Leo glared at them and sat down, "I'M BORED."

"I'm tired AND injured," snapped Hazel who was irritated back. Frank was trying to turn into the softest animals in the world. He had turned into an over-sized bunny so that Hazel could have a nice pillow but despite his attempts, Hazel was still grumpy.

"I've got an idea!" said Piper suddenly jumping. "Why don't we do a phobia talk? About some of the fears we have? I'm sure we'll get to know each other better!"

"Er..." everybody said.

"Oh, c'mon it'll be fun!" said Piper and everybody sighed.

"Fine," said Piper, "Jason, you go first."

"WHY ME?" asked Jason.

"BECAUSE, now go ahead and say your first phobia," ordered Piper and Jason sighed.

"I have Anatidaephobia," said Jason looking down at the rug, his cheeks red.

"ANTADITAWHAT?" asked Leo. Piper believed that even if Leo wasn't a demigod, he would still be dyslexic, although Anatidaephobia was a pretty long term.

"Ana-Tidae-Phobia," said Jason separating the syllables so that everybody could hear.

"What's that?" said Hazel.

Jason turned a bit red, "It's the fear that somewhere in the world, a duck or goose is watching you."

**J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J- J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J- J-J-J**

It was a hot summer day and Jason was only 3 years old.

With his little toddler legs, he walked over the rocks that surrounded a small creek near the Wolf House. He looked around and then he was face-to-face with a full-grown swan.

"Hullo, what's your name?" asked Jason. He was only 3.

The swan stared at him. The swan liked corn and well, Jason was blonde and the swan was pretty hungry so it started pecking his hair.

Then more swans came and started pecking him everywhere.

"Stop it!" said Jason.

More swans came and he was slowly being crushed against the running creek, slowly drowning and being pecked by more swans.

Jason started gurgling and waving his hands wildly while screaming in a cute toddler voice:

"BAD DUCKIES! BAD DUCKIES!"

**J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J- J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J-J- J-J-J-J-J-J-**

By the end, everybody was laughing except Jason who was really scared, he looked at the window and shrieked like a little girl.

"BAD DUCKY! BAD DUCKY!" he said jumping on the table.

There was a swan flying next to them, staring at them and Jason shrieked again standing on the table. Jason ran out of the living room to who knows where.

Leo was still chuckling, " 'BAD DUCKIES!' 'BAD DUCKIES!'"

Everybody laughed again and once Piper went to search for Jason, told him that the swan was gone, Jason came back and sat down breathing heavily.

"Right Jason, you choose," said Piper and Jason smiled.

"Leo," he said.

Leo grinned at them like a maniac,"I have avian coprophobia."

"Coprophobia?" asked Hazel.

"It has to do with birds, that I know since the avian flu, is a sickness from birds," said Frank and Leo nodded at him.

"You're right silly Chinese-Canadian baby man," said Leo and everybody laughed. A few days before Percy and Annabeth had been sucked into Tartarus, Percy had told Leo about the day when Frank and him had met Arion.

Frank glared at the son of Hephaestus and Leo continued:

"Avian coprohobia means that you have a fear of bird poop."

**L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L- L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L- L-L-**

Leo was five years old and hand-in-hand with his mom.

Sundays were the only days he wouldn't see Tia Calida and the days where his mom had some free time and would able to go and spend time with Leo.

Esperanza Valdez had just bought a strawberry and mint ice-cream cone to Leo and he was licking it happily while they walked through the zoo.

Leo's mom showed him the animals and told them not only in English but in Spanish. They walked around when suddenly something gray and brown landed on Leo's ice-cream.

He stared at it. It looked pretty normal and tasty. Sort of gray but he suspected the brown part was chocolate. He looked up.

_'WOW! ICE-CREAM CAN DROP FROM THE SKY! THAT IS AWE-SOME!"_

He looked at it hesitating. _'Well, a free ice-cream flavor. Got to try it out.'_

Esperanza Valdez turned just in time for her horror, her eyes widened and she shrieked:

_"NO MIJO! NO COMAS ES-!"_

But she was too late, little Leo had slurped the entire scoop of the 'new flavor' along with the real ice-cream and all, which was traveling down his esophagus into his stomach.

**L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L- L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L- L-**

"EWW!" the girls said.

"That was disgusting Leo," said Jason. "I bet it didn't taste good."

"To my dismay, NO," said Leo and everybody was still laughing.

"I'm sure that wasn't healthy," said Nico looking green.

"YUP! 15 minutes later I landed in the hospital," said Leo. "And then I saw a pigeon on my window and I freaked out."

"Wow Valdez," said Frank. " 'Oh, WOW! Ice-cream just falls from the sky! Oh my! I'm going to eat it! ARGH! ARGH! It tastes like cat poop! Oh wow! It's delicious! I slurp the entire scoop!' "

Everybody laughed and Leo glared.

"We're even," smirked Frank.

"Not quite," grinned Leo. "I choose Frank Zhang, the iguana who is famous for his escape from the Chinese Handcuffs-"

Frank stood up, ready to squash Leo to his death when Hazel, now in a pretty good mood put a hand on Frank's shoulder and like magic, he sat down.

"Well Frank?" asked Piper.

Frank grunted and sighed,"Hippolarconinsomiaphobia."

"WHAT?" asked Leo.

"HIPPO-LAR-CONIN-SOMIA-PHOBIA!" said Frank separating the word.

"Wow, and I thought Anatidaephobia was long," said Jason.

"But, what does it mean?" asked Piper. "Hippolarconinsomiaphobia?"

Frank sighed, "It's the fear that a hippo will steal your pijamas."

**F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F- F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-f-F-F-F**

Frank was 5 years old and alone in his grandmother's house.

AGAIN.

His mother had gone off to another war somewhere in the Middle East but had read him a nice picture book with animals from the jungle, which Frank liked a lot.

It was probably 10 o'clock in the night, when Frank couldn't sleep. So he walked down and he went to the kitchen to see if he could steal some chocolate.

He looked out of the window, and saw a very big dog, probably 2 sizes bigger than he was. And as an instinct, he screamed.

And pooped on his pijamas.

His grandmother came down, "FAI ZHANG! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?"

Then she sniffed and gagged, "What is THAT smell? Ugh...I thought you were potty trained already Fai Zhang."

Frank nodded but pointed outside, "Big Doggie scared me!"

Frank's grandmother sighed, "Okay, come on Fai, I'm going to have to change them and clean them."

Suddenly, his grandmother's full body entered the moonlight and Frank screamed again. She looked hideous for the 5 year old, with something green smeared all over her face, wearing a huge purple bathrobe and was fat, because she hadn't started her diet.

One thing went through Frank's mind:

_AN EVIL HIPPO WANTS MY PIJAMAS!_

So he did another logical thing: he ran.

He ran all over the house with his grandmother chasing behind him and cursing, Frank ran down and up the house and even crawled up the ceiling. Finally, after calling the firefighters to get him down, his grandmother got hold of him.

"Okay Fai Zhang, DON'T MOVE and let me change your pija-"

"NO EVIL HIPPO! NO! NOOO! DON'T STEAL MY PIJAMAS! BAD HIPPO! BAD HIPPO!"

**F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F- F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-**

"Wow Frank, I guess you aren't your grandmother's favorite after all," smirked Nico while everybody was laughing. Frank blushed, it was all true as much as his gran loved him.

"Bad ducky and Bad Hippo, you two should be best friends after all," said Leo to Jason and Frank and everybody else laughed even more.

Piper and Hazel were even crying from laughter and Jason's stomach hurt from laughing.

"Okay, now I choose Nico," said Frank and everybody whipped their heads towards Nico.

Nico shrugged, "I have Gymnophobia."

"Fear of gyms?" smirked Leo.

"No, fear of nudity."

"What's nudity?"

Hazel sighed, "FINE LEO, it's the fear of something being naked!"

**N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N- N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-**

Nico drifted off aimlessly around the Lotus Casino.

He almost found it impossible to get Bianca out of a Ghosthunting game which she had been addicted to, so he just let her play for awhile.

He thought Bianca and him had been there for...2 weeks? Yeah, that must be but they liked this place a lot. Especially the fact that everything was free with their cards. And the games were epic.

He decided to go swimming, he wasn't very good at it but Bianca always told him practice was good for him so he went up to his room, changed into his swimming outfit and went down to the local pool.

He dived in and started swinging his arms around frantically and after several failed attempts to actually swim WELL across the gigantic pool. He decided to try some stunts.

At his left were a kissing couple and at his right, were about 4 women chatting and laughing like hippos. He sighed and tried to sit at the bottom of the pool, meditating.

He nearly did, he found himself needing some air and he was slowly going up.

BOING!

He landed against something squishy, like a sponge, his vision was foggy so he had no idea what it was, but he needed air. He gulped a bit and opened his eyes as big as he could so he could see where he was.

He was running out of oxygen.

He looked up underwater and saw a jet stream of furious bubbles storming down his face, his eyes opened in horror only to see something bright red swim past him and he looked up again.

He saw two gigantic beach ball-like things.

And he shrieked.

He swam across underwater and jumped up in the water, gasping, gagging and spluttering. He immediately ran out of the pool and into the arcade, pulling Bianca out of her game and into the room, still coughing.

**N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N- N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-N-**

Everybody was laughing at the end.

"Wow Nico," said Piper. "I'm sure you love swimming right now!"

"You wish," muttered Nico. "Anyways, I'm going to get a snack but not before HAZEL says her phobia."

"NICO!"

"Sorry step-sis, BUT I TOLD YOU, YOU WOULD PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID WITH MY MYTHOMAGIC CARDS!" said Nico.

"Dude, you still play with that?" asked Jason.

"You've got a problem Mr. Duckie?" asked Nico.

Jason blushed and glared angrily, "ACTUA-!"

"Go on Hazel," said Piper putting a hand on Jason's mouth, "we're hearing you!"

"Well," said Hazel quietly. "I have gnomophobia."

"FINALLY!" said Leo. "A good, down-to earth, normal phobia name! Is it the fear for garden gnomes?"

"Yes," said Nico, "and I am VERY SURE why."

**H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H- H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-**

_"Dooon't gooo theeereee Haaazeeel!"_

The creepy ghost voice still roamed through Hazel's head, as she escaped the death guards which guarded the dead from escaping. She went through the Underworld with a familiar ease even though she had never gone there.

She suddenly saw a fence and with her curiosity, slowly tiptoed there.

It was the ugliest garden Hazel had seen.

She didn't want to be frank (as in direct, not frank as in like Frank Zhang but frank as in-ARGH! You got her didn't you?) but it was. The ice roses gave her shudders, the burnt melon trees let out an acid more hideous than cat pee, the tulips had worms crawling in them, the oranges were cracked open and full of fungi...everything was basically horrible.

Suddenly, something grabbed her from her neck.

_"WHO ARE THEE? WHAT ARE THEE DOING HERE?"_

A medieval gnome was strangling her with his pudgy little fingers when she just slammed into the gnome and cracked it.

Then, it exploded with the most hideous thing ever.

A FART.

But it wasn't any fart, it was the ultimate medieval fart...Hazel didn't know how that was possible, but she just knew it. This fart smelled like stables, rust, swords, metal and...blood? Ew.

Then a crowd of gnomes came in, a Roman dude in a full mini armor, Egyptian gnomes with their weird men skirts, Indian gnomes with white robes, Aztec gnomes with bare chests, and so many gnomes, that Hazel was trapped.

And in one cue, they all farted at the same time at Hazel.

She shrieked and screamed as much as a dead person could at the smells (as much as a dead person could smell, the smell was deadly). She smelled so many things at once, dragon poop, trash, dirt, rocks, plants, corn (yeah, corn), squash, beans, rusty helmets, kangaroos, kangaroo poop, ashes and then...she fainted.

**H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H- H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-**

Everybody shuddered, farting gnomes?

"I see you've met Sir Rusty Fart," muttered Nico. "Don't worry Haze, I've met him too...we aren't in good terms with each other."

"Have you met Mrs. Peachy Delight?" asked Hazel and Nico groaned.

"Naturally."

Then Hazel turned to Piper, "So it's up to you. What's your phobia?"

"Er..." Piper smiled, "I have phobophobia."

"What's that?" asked Jason.

"It's the phobia of having a phobia."

**P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P- P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-**

_7 year old Piper-_

"'Kay Pipes, don't get scared Piper, we're just a 18,000 feet Above Ground Level! It's not much is it Pipes?"

Tristan McLean shone his ultra-perfect movie star smile at her, it almost made her feel safe but then she looked down. Buildings were only a speck and trees were only a dot. She gulped, they were so high up in the air...

"NO, I'M NOT SCARED OF HEIGHTS! I'M NEVER GOING TO BE SCARED AT ANYTHING!" said Piper and threw herself out of the helicopter.

"Um...sir, you do notice that she doesn't have a parachute on?" said the man in charge of the parachutes and Tristan snapped into reality.

"PIIIPPPPEEERRR!"

_8 year old Piper-_

"Look there, it's the King of the Jungle, the fiercest animal...a lion," said Tristan pointing below at a growling golden lion.

"But I thought animals didn't have a republic or any royal family?" said Piper looking down and squinting her eyes. "Can animals choose their king?"

Tristan sighed, "You'll get it soon enough, anyways Pipes! Don't you think it's incredible? It's a magnificent LION!"

"I see," said Piper. Suddenly the lion turned towards him and glared at her. He growled, showing off his sharp white teeth which said: _Come here babe! Let me eat you for an appetizer for dinner! I already ate my caretaker as lunch, don't worry. It was too crunchy anyways._

Piper was real tense and Tristan's hand lay on her shoulder, "Don't worry Pipes, don't be scared, I doubt the lion can jump this tall. He won't touch you, don't be scared."

_'I'm not going to be scared of lions, I'm not going to be scared of lions,' _ thought Piper and then she looked down and screamed.

"NO! I'M NEVER GOING TO BE SCARED OF LIONS! NEVER OF LIONS OR ANY ANIMAL! I'M NOT AFRAID OF ANNYYYTHHHIINNNGGG!"

Then she threw herself down into the lion arena, where everybody was already screaming and the staff hurried over to safe Piper's life.

_9 year old Piper-_

"Look at those jelly fish Piper!" said Tristan McLean pointing to the tank.

"Like Sponge Bob!" said Piper. "Do you really think they make jelly Dad? Do you think it tastes good?"

Tristan chuckled, "No Pipes! They don't make anything like that. Oh look, an unfortunate little fellow."

A little yellow fish floated over to where a transparent jelly fish was along with his other friends and bright, neon pink jelly fish. The fellow touched the jelly fish and then got electrocuted, reducing into ashes and bones.

Piper shuddered. Would that happen to a human?

"DON'T WORRY Piper! It won't bite you! This is the thickest glass possible, it won't pierce in! Don't be scared, you can poke it through the glass as much as you want!"

Piper suddenly trembled, "I'M NOT AFRAID OF JELLY FISH DAD! I'M NOT AFRAID OF ANY AQUATIC ANIMAL! I AM NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING HERE!"

Then she ran to the back of the tank, climbed up the stairs and then dived into the tank, where 15 jelly fish were swimming around happily, looking for prey.

People shrieked again and the staff went over to help Piper.

AGAIN.

**P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P- P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-**

Everybody laughed.

"I thought you knew better Pipes! OH! I'M NOT SCARED OF LIONS! WOO HOO! I'M JUST GOING TO JUMP IN AND LET THEM EAT ME!" said Leo while everbody chuckled.

Piper glared and rolled her eyes, "I was 8 Leo, think about it Mr. I Love Ice-Cream That Falls From the Sky!"

"Ouch," said Leo and everybody laughed.

Suddenly, as the chatter rose with the laughter, Piper felt her eyes slowly close shut and then she felt drowsy, a bit dizzy and before she knew it, her head was on Jason's lap and she was sleeping soundly.


End file.
